Give Guilt the Boot: Forgive Yourself
Last week we discussed how sometimes guilt is just a manifestation of a different emotion. Regardless of what that emotion is if we’re going to rid ourselves of guilt we will need to deal with our feelings. This week we’re going to look at how to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made.
If you’re just joining us, you’re going to want to start at the beginning. here are the links. I’ll see you soon.
Forgive Yourself: Start Loving The Real You
Regardless of what is holding you back from doing the things you really want to do and what other negative feelings we’re dealing with. We have to do something with the information. What good is it to know what’s making you feel guilty if you will not work to change it.
Identifying the problem was only half the battle, now we need to work towards forgiveness and self-acceptance. Here’s something many people don’t realize: you have to love yourself. Every bit of yourself, however, embarrassing or ugly it might be. If we don’t accept ourselves in our entirety we can’t we will not make the changes we need to. If we don’t make those changes we’re never going to rid ourselves of guilt and negative feelings, we won’t be able to live the life of our dreams.
It might be helpful to remember a couple of things before we get further in this journey.
- We are all human beings
- We all make mistakes
- We mess up
- We don’t do what we set out to do.
This is true for everyone, whether or not they love themselves. When we learn to forgive ourselves and love enough to try again, we learn and get better. That’s why this step of forgiveness and love is so important.
We started by examining the things we feel guilty about. Then we took a good hard look at what we have and haven’t done to get us closer to our goals, closer to living the life we want.
We have come so far on our journey to banish guilt. We need to stop being afraid of embracing the good things in our lives; feeling proud of what we’ve accomplished. The flip side is we shouldn’t hesitate to acknowledge where we messed up, where we fell short and didn’t follow through. But, as soon as we acknowledge those things we need to forgive ourselves it. We need to accept it and move on. It’s important to learn as much as we can from every mistake we made. There is always a lesson somewhere. If we stop thinking of these things as failures and see them as stepping-stones, no doubt we will all go on to bigger and better successes.
We can’t always control what happens, how our plans work out, how others see us. But we can control how we respond to each of those things. At the end of the day, it is up to each of us to decide if we’re going to let our failures and missteps derail us and keep us from living the life of our dreams. We can choose to look at each set back as a learning opportunity, a chance to grow, a stepping stone to further success. It’s all a matter of perspective.
I know, I know. This is all much easier said than done. I get it, really, I do.
But, I believe with all my heart that if we look at the world from a place of love and forgiveness, it is much easier to see things in a positive light. If we look for the positives in every situation, try to find the good in people, we will notice a difference.
One of the most positive changes any of us can make in our life is to look for the good in each situation. Here’s my technique. It is easier to be kind to ourselves. We will find a way to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made and keep working toward the positive goals and dreams we have for ourselves.
The best advice I can give you if you’re just starting our in this positive/ intentional lifestyle is to start small. Think back through everything you did today and find something you aren’t proud of. It doesn’t have to be anything big, maybe you littered, or didn’t tip as well as you should have, whatever it is, you’re going to forgive yourself for it. While you’re forgiving yourself, you’re going to look at what you could learn from it.
Learning, no matter the situation is a positive thing. So take the positive energy you will get from the knowledge of what went wrong and build on it, do it again and again. We are going to forgive ourselves every single time we mess up, no matter what.
Forgiving ourselves is the first step toward loving ourselves, truly loving ourselves. Once we love ourselves we’ll see amazing things start to happen. We will become positive, guilt-free people, with positive habits that will only help us succeed. The best part is that since we’re so forgiving and positive toward ourselves, we’ll be the same way toward others.
Lift as you climb, help others on their journey. Forgive others as swiftly as you have learned to forgive yourself. Not only will the world feel like a better place, but we will generally feel better about ourselves. We will be more confident, more relaxed people ready to tackle whatever life throws at us.
What are some goals you’ve set for yourself? Have you been able to accomplish them? Do you think learning to forgive yourself and look at the world in a more positive light would help you in this process?